The Engineer and the Frog

An engineer was crossing the road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

TFD Opinions: Republican Presidential Nomination Odds August 13

Post Ames Straw Poll/Rick Perry entry edition:

10. Newt Gingrich 1% (0)- It's probably even less than 1% at this point but until he drops out of the race, I'll stick with whole numbers. He had a terrible showing at the Straw Poll as expected and his primary opponent at the debate was FOX News which isn't going to help his cause.

9. Other 2% (-28)- With Rick Perry in the race, the Other category now is down to Palin, Giuliani, and the other potential candidates that probably won't run. Somehow Giuliani beat Obama in a general election poll last week but I think people are remembering 9/11 Rudy Giuliani and forgetting awful campaigner/blowhard 2008 Rudy Giuliani who went from frontrunner to bust.

Ames Straw Poll Results: Bachmann Wins

Bachmann 4,823 (28.5%)
Paul: 4671 (27.7%)
Pawlenty: 2293 (13.6%)
Santorum: 1657 (9.8%)
Cain: 1456 (8.6%)
Perry: 718 (4.3%)
Romney: 567 (3.4%)
Gingrich: 385 (2.3%)
Huntsman: 69 (0.4%)
McCotter: 35 (0.2%)
Other: 162 (1.0%)

Iowa Republican Presidential Debate Full Video

Neil deGrasse Tyson on Rise of the Planet of the Apes

That movie is so unrealistic...but not for the reason you'd think. (Twitter)

Complete Guide to the Ames Iowa Straw Poll

Today is the day. (HuffingtonPost)

Saturday Cartoon: The Blame Game

Five Myths About the Dow

5 myths after 5 crazy days on the market. (WashingtonPost)

The Rise of Ron Paul

There are whispers that he could even win the Straw Poll today. (LATimes)

Magical Unrealism

The Republican debate exposed the phony nature of running for the party nomination. (NYTimes)

Rachel Maddow: Debunktion Junction: Iowa Republican Presidential Debate

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Ring Clock: Watch of the Future?

Texas A&M Considering Move to SEC Again

Another year, another shot at major waves in conference realignment. (SI)

The Future of Our World

But when do the apes take over? (FutureofourWorld)

Carlos Lee Hits Self in Face with Foul Ball

Herman Cain Quotes Theme to Pokemon Movie at Presidential Debate

This debate just keeps getting better and better even after it's over. (Mediaite)

The Onion: Barack Obama Proposes Tax Increase on Meanest 2% of Population

Grover Norquist isn't buying it. (TheOnion)

Rick Santorum: Iran Tramples the Rights of Gays

Since when is Rick Santorum worried about protecting gay rights? Did Dan Savage finally get to him?

NFL Free Agency: Winners, Losers, Who's Left

How did the Jets let Shaun Ellis go? (Grantland)

Meet the 12 Members of the Super Congress

Will they actually get anything done? To be determined. (WashingtonPost)

Movie Review: 30 Minutes or Less

This movie is about Mark Zuckerberg robbing a bank, right? (NYTimes)(LATimes)

Krugman: The Hijacked Crisis

The deficit stole the spotlight from jobs. (NYTimes)

Iowa Republican Debate Highlights in 4 Minutes

Conan: Self-Efface Off with Jesse Eisenberg

Colbert Report: Corporations are People

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Romney 2012 - "Corporations Are People"
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

Daily Show: Ames Iowa Straw Poll: Fried Butter on a Stick

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Indecision 2012 - Corn Polled Edition - Ames Entertainment Preview
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

Ames Iowa Republican Debate Winners and Losers August 11

The real winners were FOX News and Rick Perry. (WashingtonPost)

Ron Paul Anti-War Rant at Republican Debate August 11

Daily Show: John Coffee Interview on Ratings Agencies

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
John Coffee
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

Mitt Romney Corporations are People Music Video

Allen West: Being Gay is a Choice...Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

Allen West has no shortage of interesting comments in his arsenal. (Mediaite)

Colbert Super PAC Corn Commercial for Rick Parry

Dwight Schrute Quotes

Women are Just as Good at Sports...in Movies

Proof That Women Are Just As Good at Sports (In Movies) -- powered by Cracked.com

USA Goal vs. Mexico, First Goal of Klinsmann Era

2011 Heisman Watch

Andrew Luck leads. (ESPN)

What Can Congress Do to Create Jobs?

Proposals from both parties. (Republicans)(Democrats)

Rick Scott VIP Health Insurance Scam

The spoils system at work in Florida? (MotherJones)

Iowa Republican Debate Preview

Between the debate and Ames Straw Poll, this could be the end of the road for a few candidates. (NYTimes)

TV Trailer: The Office Season 8

Jay Leno: Joel McHale Interview

Jimmy Kimmel: Bert and Ernie Gay Marriage Petition

Conan: Aziz Ansari Interview

Colbert Report: Weird Mormons and God's Approval Rating

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Yaweh or No Way? - Mormons & God's Poll Numbers
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

Daily Show: Obama Credit Downgrade and Black Stereotypes

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Obama Downgrade
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

US Debt Crisis Explained Video

College Football 2011 Best Names Team

Philander Moore has to be the best name in all of college football. (AthlonSports)

Jacksonville Arena Football Fan Tackles Opposing Player

Forbes Top Colleges List

Williams is #1? (Forbes)

Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell: Colbert Super PAC Commercial for Rick Parry Not Rick Perry: Episode IV: A New Hope Video

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

The USA Should Invade the USA

Dylan Ratigan Mad as Hell Rant Video

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Online Petition for Bert and Ernie to Get Married

Forbidden love. (HuffingtonPost)

Preseason College Football Bowl Projections

All I want to know is who plays in the inaugural Potato Bowl. (Rivals)

Seinfeld: Brokeback Mountain Parody

Craigslist: Redskins Searching for Quarterback

SI Preseason College Football Power Rankings August 10

Yet another #1 for Oklahoma. (SI)

Why Rise of the Planet of the Apes Succeeded

A surprise success. (Grantland)

Why are Restaurant Websites So Terrible?

Even worse, how do some restaurants still not have websites? (Slate)

The Tea Party: Fueled by Populism, Hijacked by Plutocrats

The leaders treat their members like useful idiots. (WashingtonPost)

Friedman: The Day Our Leaders Got Unstuck

A fantasy that could be reality. (NYTimes)

New London 2012 Olympic Logo

Jimmy Kimmel: Al Gore Frosty the Snowman Cartoon

Colbert Report: FOX and Friends Exposes Spongebob Global Warming Bias, Rush Limbaugh Attacks Heat Index

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Heatsteria
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

Daily Show: Michele Bachmann Newsweek Cover

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Glazed and Confused
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

NFL Preseason Power Rankings August 9

The Super Bowl Champs are #1 going into the season. (ESPN)

Conan: Michele Bachmann Newsweek Cover

Things That Only Happen in Movies

None of these things ever happen. (Imgur)

Flowchart: Do You Have to Wake Up Yet?

Just because the alarm goes off doesn't mean you have to wake up. (CollegeHumor)

The Onion: Bristol Palin Interview Accidentally Reveals Mother's 15 Abortions

How embarrassing. (TheOnion)

Michele Bachmann: The Perfect Tea Party Hypocrite

The Keep your government hands off my Medicare candidate. (AndrewSullivan)

How to Get Back to AAA

Reviving the grand bargain. (TheAtlantic)

Wisconsin Recall Election Day

Why it matters to the rest of America. (CSMonitor)

Let's Get Rid of August

The worst month of the year. (Slate)

Milbank: The Powerless President

Has Obama lost the reins of the country? (WashingtonPost)

The Stock Market's Wile E Coyote Moment

The market finally realizes it's standing on air. (WashingtonPost)

Jay Leno: Dealing with the Public August 8

Colbert Report: Vivos Doomsday Bunkers

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Doomsday Bargain Bunkers
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

Daily Show: John Oliver: Florida Couple Forecloses on Bank of America

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Forecloser
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

Jimmy Kimmel: Aziz Ansari Interview

Daily Show: Downgrade: Rise of the Planet of the AAs

Standard and Poors translates to Average and Below Average.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Rise of the Planet of the AAs
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell: S&P Downgrade is Stupidest Analysis in Wall Street History

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Inception?

Real Madrid Signs 7 Year Old Phenom

Get 'em while they're young. (SI)

Detroit Schools Emergency Financial Manager Cuts Salaries, Gets $40,000 SUV

Everyone shares in the sacrifice...or not. (WXYZ)

Barack Obama S&P Downgrade Speech August 8 Video

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Moody's: Why We're Not Downgrading US Credit Rating

Moody's is sticking with AAA. (YahooFinance)

Thanks, But We'd Rather Try Democracy

The Complete History of SNL Celebrity Jeopardy

Why does Sean Connery hate Alex Trebek? (Splitsider)

Newsweek Michele Bachmann Cover

Crazy eyes killa comes to mind.

Facebook Birthdays

25 Things You Need to Stop Doing

A list of pet peeves. (CollegeHumor)

How Sarah Palin Got a AAA Credit Rating for Alaska

Raising taxes. (TheAtlantic)

Former US Government Officials Lobbying for Terrorist Organization

Anything for money. (HuffingtonPost)

Tea Party Crowd Cheers S&P Credit Downgrade

I hope that was sarcastic applause.

Douthat: Waiting for a Landslide

Both parties have become so bad that every election is a wave; it didn't used to be that way. (NYTimes)

Krugman: Credibility, Chutzpah, and Debt

Or to Michele Bachmann, that's Credibility, Chootspa, and Debt. (NYTimes)

God's Blog

And God said, "let there be blog." (NewYorker)

How to Drive on the Highway

Chipotle Parking Sign

Real Time with Bill Maher: Rick Perry Prayer-a-Palooza Pray-tacular

Why Dinosaurs Are Extinct #2

(#1)

Caution: Tomatoes

Movie Review: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Surprisingly good. (LATimes)

Get Rid of the Mortgage Interest Deduction

It doesn't properly serve its purpose and is a wasteful tax break. (Reason)

Sunday Cartoon: Tea Party Philosophy

Five Ways the Credit Downgrade Affects You

Now some real shared sacrifice, not in the way intended. (WashingtonPost)

The Truth About Taxes

They need to go up. (NYTimes)

Friedman: Win Together, Lose Together

“Welcome. You are entering the United States of America. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future returns.” (NYTimes)

Mike Huckabee Nominates Donald Trump for Treasury Secretary

Great idea, an expert on going bankrupt to keep us out of bankruptcy. (PoliticalWire)